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팅커벨…

 

내가 가끔 옛날 살던 집 지나는 길에 들르는 거 몰랐지? Did you know that once in awhile I drive by the old house? 거기 살면서 행복한 추억만 간직하고 있다고 말하고 싶지만 그건 거짓말이겠지. I wish I could tell you that I have nothing but pleasant memories of living there but that would be a lie. 내 머리 속엔 지후 때문에 힘들었던 기억뿐이야. 보기에 따라서는 결국 우리가 지후를 다 키우긴 했지만 말야. 유일한 위안이라면 지후가 지금은 너무 잘하고 있다는 사실이지. The only consolation we have is that he seems to be doing so much better now. 믿겨져? 사고뭉치 우리 아들이 심리학자가 되고 싶어한다는 게?

 

내가 당신한테 분풀이한다는 거, 그거 맞는 말이야. You are right about the fact that I take my frustrations out on you. 난 내가 진급하고 받는 스트레스 잘 견뎌낼지 의문이야. I don't know if I am really cut out to handle the pressures of this new position. 끊임없이 실적을 내야 그 사람들 기뻐할 거니까. They constantly want me to keep them happy with my performance. 전에도 어느 정도 그랬지만 이 정도로 스트레스를 줄지는 몰랐어. That was true to some degree before but certainly not on this level.

 

이 말 하고 나니 당신한테 용서를 빌어야 할 것 같아. 이제 집에 오면 직장

일은 잊으려고 최선을 다할게. I will also try my best to leave my work behind me when I come home to you each day. 얼마나 잘 해낼지 모르겠지만 노력할 거야. I don't know how successful I'll be with this but I will try.

 

사랑하는 피터팬… 

   

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피터팬…

 

당신이 지후 일로 그 정도였는지 정말 몰랐어. 너무 잘 숨겼어. 전혀 깨닫지 못했으니까. 진작 깨달았어야 했지만 그렇지 못했어. 그 점에 대해선 정말 미안해. You kept it hid so well.  I just didn't realize.  I should have, but I didn't.  For that I am truly sorry.

 

집에 오면 직장일 티 안 내겠다는 당신 말, 나한테는 대단한 일이야. Your willingness to try to leave your work behind you when you come home means a lot to me. 그래도 그런 대화를 아예 안 하는 건 원치 않아. 남자는 자기 일을 마누라한테 이야기 할 수 있어야 한다고 봐. A man should be able to tell his wife about his work. 문제는 직장에서 불만을 집까지 가져 와서 그것 때문에 우리 사이에 금이 가게 만든다는 거야. The thing that I have had a problem with is when you bring your work frustrations home with you and then allow them to drive wedges into our relationship.

 

그래도 이렇게 메일 주고 받으면서 당신한테 변화는 있었어. 당신 집에 와서 내 옆에 다가와 앉으니까 좋더라. It was really sweet of you to come and sit down next to me after you got home. 하루 어떻게 보냈냐고 묻기도 했고. You asked me how my day had gone. 갑자기 그렇게 물으니까 처음엔 대답하기 참 어색했어. Trying to answer you felt a little awkward at first. 

 

도서관 아동문고에서 일하는 거, 그거 잘 나가는 직장 아니란 거 알아. I know that the children's section of the library is not exactly living in the fast lane. 그래도 내가 매일 즐겁게 일하는 곳이야.

 

 내 말 들어주고 관심 가져줘서 좋았어. 나중에라도 안아주고 싶었어. 안아 줄 걸 그랬나. Afterwards, I wanted to hug you and thank you.  Now I wish that I would have. 더이상 맘놓고 당신한테 손을 뻗어 만져주지 못하는 게 짜증나. It bothers me so much that I don't feel free to reach out and touch you anymore.

 

사랑하는 팅커벨…

 

 원문출처 : http://mikekim.tistory.com/entry/%EC%9D%B4%EC%95%BC%EA%B8%B0%EC%86%8D%EC%9C%BC%EB%A1%9C-%EC%9C%84%EA%B8%B0%EC%9D%98-%EC%A4%91%EB%85%844

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