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팅커벨,

 

이 모든 게 내 생각이었으니까, 당신 생각이 좀 부정적이라고 하더라도 내가 좀 더 적극 임해야 할 것 같아 I suppose that I am going to have to stick with it for awhile longer.

 

사실 난 당신의 입장을 이해 못 하겠어 I just don't understand where you are coming from. 당신은 내가 진급을 하지 않았었더라면 했는데, 누구보다 당신이 더 새집으로 이사하고 싶어했잖아 you were more than willing to move into our new home. 생각해 봐, 당신 정말 신나 했잖아 you were ecstatic. 당신도 알다시피 진급해서 월급 안 올랐으면 절대 이 새 집 못 구했을 거야 we could never have afforded it if not for the increase in my salary that came with the new position.  그것 말고도, 당신 신용카드는 말할 것도 없고 우리 새 차 살 돈은 어디서 구했겠어? 그 돈 아니었으면 당신 아직 과자상자 같은 집에 살면서 똥차나 몰고 있겠지 Without the increased income you would still be living in that cracker box and driving that rust bucket of a car.    

 

당신 다른 불만 some of the other things that bother you 도 막 늘어 놓았는데, 참 내, 내가 그걸 전에 어디서 들었더라? 내가 집에 들어 오면 녹초가 돼서 exhausted when I get home 말 할 기분 아니라고 don't feel like talking very much 몇 번을 얘기했어? 하루 종일 사람들하고 얘기하느라 미칠 지경인데 매일 밤 집에 와서 또 그 짓을 해야겠어? 가끔 고요한 저녁을 만끽하자는데 뭐가 잘못됐다는 거야 What's wrong with enjoying a quiet evening once in awhile, anyhow?   

 

그리고 소파에 앉아서 안아 주지도 않는다고 했지. 그래 말 나온 김에 다 얘기해보자 Let's really put everything on the table here. 당신이 나 손도 못 대게 하잖아 You won't even let me make love to you anymore. 어떻게 몸이 맨날 아프냐? 그래도 가뭄에 콩 나듯 잠자리 가질라치면, 고무인형이랑 뒹구는 기분이야. 그 일 하면서 천정은 왜 쳐다보는데 Why do you stare at the ceiling when we are making love? 누가 천정에 영화라도 상영하나 Is somebody showing a movie up there?

 

그리고, 자기는 나한테 카드나 초콜릿 보낸 적 있어? 선물은 남편만 하나 Is gift giving something only men do for their wives?  그런 거라면 누가 그 규칙을 만든 건데?

 

지금 생각하니 이거 아무래도 바보 같은 짓이야. 이래선 해결될 일이 아니야. 미안해 시간 허비하게 해서 I am sorry that I wasted your time. 

                           

 

피터팬이

 

:::::::::::::::::::::::

 

 

 

피터팬,

 

왜 그렇게 쉽게 포기해 Why are you giving up so easy?   난 아직 이게 좋은 방법이라고 생각하는데. 좀 더 시도해 보자고. 사람들이 그러잖아, “ 호랑이 굴에 들어가야 호랑이 새끼를 잡는다 Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

 

사실 당신 이번 메일 받고 화가 난 게 아니라 마음이 아팠어. 당신은 이해 못할 거야. 나한테는 늘 분노보다는 마음의 상처가 먼저 찾아 와 With me, the hurt always comes before the anger.

 

맞아, 우리 새집 너무 좋아. 우리 둘한테는 꿈이 이루어 진 거잖아 It is a dream come true. 새 차 산 것도 너무 감사해. 신용카드 마음껏 쓴다는데, 사실 난 싼 물건만 긋잖아 I only charge small purchases. 아마 하루 벌어 하루 먹고 사는 생활이 오랫동안 몸에 베여서 그럴 거야 Probably due to the habit developed over many years of living from paycheck to paycheck.

 

그리고 나도 도서관에서 파트타임으로 일하면서 살림에 보태고 있잖아 I do contribute to our finances with my part-time work at the library. 많이는 못 벌어도 내 카드 값 낼 만큼은 벌어. 당신이 꼭 알아야 할 건 우리가 새 집 사기 훨씬 전에 내가 당신이랑 결혼했다는 사실이야. 당신은 잘 벌어다 주면(정말 잘 벌어다 줘) 그게 사랑이라고 생각하겠지만, 모든 걸 순식간에 다 빼앗긴다 해도, 난 당신만 있으면 돼 if it were all taken away in an instant, it is only you who I would really need. 

 

우리 처음 결혼했을 때 기억나? 당신은 길 잃은 소년이라 나더러 네버랜드로 데려다 달랬잖아 you wanted me to find you and take you away to Never Land. 그때 우린 가진 게 없었어.  당신이 말한 네버랜드는 새 집, 새 차, 그리고 신용카드 가득 찬 지갑이 아니라 행복으로 가득 찬 우리 사이가 아니었을까?

 

여보, 당신은 늘 열심히 일했고, 덕분에 우린  안정된 삶을 살았어. 이제 애도 다 컸고 이젠 낼 거 다 내도 쓸 만큼 돈은 있잖아 we still have money to spend after all of the bills are paid each month.  당신의 성공에 대한 열정을 늘 존경했어. 잠시라도 그건 의심하지 않았으면 좋겠어.

 

내가 이전에 알던 피터팬이 몹시도 그리워 I terribly miss the PeterPan I used to know. 내 마음속엔 당신은 여전히 길 잃은 소년이야. 난 다시 내 피터팬을 되찾고 싶어. What I really want is my PeterPan back again.

 

서둘러야겠어, 이러다 지각할라 I have to run or I will be late for work. 

지금은 당신을 그다지 좋아하지 않아, 하지만 여전히 당신을 많이 사랑하고 있어. 내 말 알겠지? I don't like you very much now, but I do still love you very much.  Do you understand?

 

사랑하는 팅커벨이 

 

                                                   To be continued......

원문출처 : http://mikekim.tistory.com/entry/%EC%9D%B4%EC%95%BC%EA%B8%B0-%EC%86%8D%EC%9C%BC%EB%A1%9C-%EC%9C%84%EA%B8%B0%EC%9D%98-%EC%A4%91%EB%85%842

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